Community Service Thank You Letter Proofread This Pageant Letter?

Proofread this pageant letter? - community service thank you letter

So please do not hesitate to make suggestions
Is there anything else I should know?
** The letter should, why I focus on competition, which will do in the future, and what I achieved.
** The letter will be reduced to a small booklet, which we adapt to local businesses that will not be very long

Dear Sponsor,
Am I a novice in the next year at the University of ________ this fall. I will visit this year, Miss Teen _______Pageant because I think it will be a great opportunity for me to continue to improve in myself, trust, and developing the skills necessary to succeed me in the future to be.

During his time at ________High, I have more than 150 hoursf community service in and around my community. I have the test ________School Banking Association writing contest three years in a row, and set up in competition on the market two years in a row. He also served as co-chair for breakfast with Santa "event that funding for the Children's Hospital _______by serves all-you-can-increase pancake breakfast with Santa for children and their families premises. During the event customers buying Christmas cookies and raffle tickets for the chance to win prizes. About a week after the "Breakfast with Santa", is an examination at the hospital of all funds collected by the event presented.

To pursue in the future plan to graduate from college and university education. I would also get a degree in business and so successful I can be what I can go back to my community.

Thank you for your attention to the sponsorship of the competition. I welcome the establishment of a session at your convenience, further cement his decision. Every time you talk about this issue is greatly appreciated. I can be reached at ________ or ________@yahoo.com.